Sunday Shoots and Vulnerable Ramblings.

I approached today knowing I would be capturing some beauty shots of a friend, with little intention that I would be photographed myself.

Its shallow, but sometimes we need to look at pictures of ourselves and see our beauty staring in front of us.

It won't look like her beauty, or his, or anyone else. It will look like YOURS.

&& that's all the beautiful you need to be. 

If I could do anything for the rest of my life, it would be an advocate of beauty.

True, pure, unscripted, flawless and yet imperfect type of a beauty, that is possessed by every individual.

I know what it's like to wake up in the morning and know that the very sight of yourself in the mirror will make your stomach churn. To consistently think to yourself how you're not worthy of anything.

To constantly compare, and pretend that you can give yourself attributes that aren't yours to have.

THAT is no way to live.

We weren't  just thrown together on a whim, we were created. 

Do you know what that means?

Cre·ate

krēˈāt/ 

verb

past tense: created; past participle: created

1. 1.

   bring (something) into existence.

   synonyms:

   produce, generate, bring into being, make, fabricate, fashion, build,construct;2 cause (something) to happen as a result of one's actions

synonyms:

bring about, give rise to, lead to, result

That means who you are, how you were hand sculpted and formed was INTENTIONAL, not by mistake or "just because" it was to bring YOU, all of YOU into existence.

 I have changed my insecure, shallow prayers from "Lord, let this be skinnier, take this completely away, let me be seen like this by others..." to 

"Lord, let me see myself the way YOU my creator sees me."

This is in no way by my own doing, I have had a lot of people pouring into me in terms of how they view me, how they see God through me, how their prayer for me is for me to see my worth. It has been and continues to be a journey of soul searching and beauty finding.

But I've learned that it comes down to this...

L O V E.

Y O U R S E L F.

because there's no way anyone else can love you better, until you learn how to do it first.

Sometimes it takes capturing their beauty for others to really see it.

I like to pretend I'm a photographer sometimes...

Model: The Beautiful and Talented Faith Bowman. book her.

Tonights mental Rambling.

And when we as artists create, we are reminding the world that beauty still exists, that even dead stories have a heartbeat and that God is always present in every poem, dance, paint stroke, and song.

21 Lessons While being 21

I didn't read it over and over to try and get it right, I wanted it to be raw just in the same way I wrote it. Its more of a list of thoughts than anything else. Here's a look into my year and my mind.

Video Link Here

21 lessons while being 21
1. You have to love yourself before you can begin to love others right
2. Your purity ring is not magic, it is not Prince Charming or the promise that what you're waiting for will come when you want it
3. Coffee is always a good idea
4. The best kind of pain is a stomach cramp after laughter
5. Sometimes friendships are not always meant to last
6. The protection of your heart can take priority over someone else's and It doesn't mean you are selfish
7. Listening to Jessie McCartney is not only socially acceptable but encouraged
8. You're not superwoman, but wearing your cape anyway allows other people the courage to do the same
9. Beauty is equally facial features as it is heart and mind
10. Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness
11. You don't always have to be doing well, sometimes you can be honest and simply say you're just okay... You have learned that some people will stop to listen why
12. Your Instagram likes mean nothing, you will still spend evenings writing to forget that you are alone
13. Loneliness is beautiful, embrace it
14. Being confident is not always cocky, learn to wear it proudly in your namesake
15. You have learned how not to turn away when staring your flaws in the mirror this is called acceptance
16. Heartbreaks can happen in many different ways ... So can healing
17. You are loved and deserving of being loved
18. days without makeup are necessary for Sanity and raw self devotion
19. Late, crisp evenings are perfect for writing
20. Just because a season is over doesn't mean your relationship with the people in it are over too
21. You are loved and so deserving of being loved