My heart is full.

This past Friday, I came back from my second year being a Royal Family Kids Camp counselor. 
Oh man, hands down one of the best weeks in the summer for me. 
For those of you who know me pretty well, you know I'm that person who will literally walk away from a group of people and go hang out with a little kid, or volunteer to take the crying baby away from the mom trying to be present somewhere else. I love kids, so you can just imagine a whole week where my job is to love, hang out and connect with some kiddos, its basically ARIE HEAVEN.
I wish I could tell you every story, every funny inside camp moment but its one of those weeks where you kinda had to be there. And not in that, you-can't-be-included-in-this-awesome-experience sort of way, but it really is because you just kinda had to be there. 
Here's a little snippet;
My buddy counselor Lizzie and I spent many nights tucking in our giggling little princesses trying to get them to calm down. For one of the girls, the night time was probably the most scary, uncomfortable places she could be. She was always the last to fall asleep, as if the night or sleeping brought about memories that the day time just seemed to shine out. She was the one who needed physical touch like a back rub or singing to calm down all the crazy stirring going on inside of her. We let them journal out their days and they wrote notes to one another which Lizzie and I passed back and forth because we told them to stay in bed. 
There's chapel time, pool time, and activity time which included button making, tie-dye pillow cases and since this year was construction themed, there was a booth for the kids to make bug houses and tool boxes. One of my campers wanted to do this on the first day, I asked her if she was sure and she was. So together we built the most unstable tool box ever, it looked poorly made because it was poorly made (mostly on my end) but she beamed when it was finished she wrote her name on that tool box and we put it on the bus on the last day. 
Also this year, I was able to get close to one of the campers who is special needs and has a one on one counselor who was meant just for him. The camper was absolutely darling and he melted my heart. We played a week long game of poking Arielle and scaring her every time, bugs under the table during meal times and him eating all the magical beans (cashews). His sister was one of our campers and I believe the only time they get to see one another is at camp. My heart was overjoyed yet so sad for these separated siblings, being away from my siblings because of school is hard enough but the thought of not being able to see them because we live with two different parental guidance's just breaks my heart. For a lot of the sibling campers, whenever they passed one another they had to touch, or say hello or acknowledge one another in some way. This one week is probably the most time they spend with one another in the whole year, I couldn't even imagine.


Each year at camp, usually on the last night there is a birthday party celebrating every child because there's no way of telling weather that year they were or would be able to experience a birthday party let alone a birthday acknowledgement. This year for the girls, it was the tea party again, YES YES YES I love tea parties. They first got to go to Drama Liz's dress up closet and pick out a dress and some accessories for that night and then right before get their hair, nails and makeup done. Then they go to the dining hall that is all set with table clothes, a big "Happy Birthday" banner and each table setting has their own dainty floral tea cups that they get to take home as a gift. They of course cat walk in and once they are inside they are allowed to get snacks, but then shortly after music is played and the cucumber sandwiches are forgotten about (except to the counselors) and they dance and dance, sing and then dance some more. To be celebrated and loved is a lovely little thing that we often take for granted. Here is a moment where these girls of all ages get to celebrate, dance and be happy, their walls are temporarily torn down and they get to live freely even if its only for that moment. They are able to just be kids again and us counselors get to be kids too, singing TSwift and Selena Gomez and every possible Disney song at the top of our lungs and no one can tell us not too. What a glorious evening.

For me personally, one of the reasons I love doing camp is because of the people I get to be on a team with. Some of the most fun, Jesus-loving, tender hearted people I have ever met and even though I really don't see more than half of them throughout the year, there is this understanding that we're all at camp to do one thing and that's to show the love of Jesus to about forty kids. They know exactly how to care for and talk to their campers so that each child knows that someone is there for them, someone loves them. We spend that week getting to be the hands and feet of Jesus, and he truly does all the rest. However we are lucky enough to be the ones to physically hug them. 

At the end of camp we all come back to Lake Avenue church, and then the kids have one last opportunity to sing camp songs and then their caretakers take them home. When they're all gone, all us snotty nosed, watery eyed counselors get to debrief about what happened that week. I was an emotional wreck during this for numerous reasons; 
1. Camp was over, the babies were gone and out of our hands and we have no idea what situations they may encounter.
2. I was exhausted and that makes me emotional 
3. Here I was, broken, imperfect, and unworthy and yet God was using me as a vessel to show and share his love with his precious children. I was blown away because I knew I didn't deserve it.
And then there was also the thought about how we... how I forget that while Jesus is knocking on their hearts, he's knocking on my own. All the words that I told my girls at night that they are beautiful, that they are loved and that there is a Jesus who gave his life for them. He was whispering those words right back at me. amazing.

At the beginning of camp on Sunday evening before the kids get off the bus on Monday, us counselors prepare the cabins for them all individually decorated and then put our things away and get settled in our homes for that week. I love this part of camp because I feel like it lets the campers know hey, we prepared for you, we worked hard to make this place a home for you because we love you. At least, that's what I hope it says. One of the other things that happens in the very beginning is getting our wrist bands that allows us to eat for the week, this year they were bright lime green, can't miss them. This morning I went to church at Fellowship Monrovia this morning and ran into Patti one of the main people on camp staff, we gave one another a big hug and she held up her wrist to show me she still had her bracelet on, I held up mine to show her that I too still sported my green bracelet. 
After we leave camp, the green bracelets no longer mean our pass into the cafeteria, it is our little piece of evidence that the beauty we just experienced actually happened. That yes, as Tamara (the assistant director) says, it is so hard to explain what happened but she tells people that what we experienced in those five days was a little glimpse of heaven. I usually keep my bracelet on for at least a week or so after, and every time I attempt to go grab some scissors to cut it off, I just can't bring myself to do it.
Here's the thing with camp, we go up on that mountain top and experience this big ol Jesus bubble, there's exhaustion, there's sickness and lost voices but ultimately there is this euphoria and humble spirit that just washes over us and we don't want to lose that. We get swept back into our busy lives, our jobs, our school work our busyness on top of more busyness and the little smiling faces of Jesus are pushed into the back of our agendas. I wear the bracelet because I want to remember the most glorious beaming faces of joy during pool time, I want to remember what knowing your value looks like in the faces of young girls in tea party dresses dancing their little hearts out, I want to remember their stories and their heartache. I want to remember every moment, every day, every night where I could not wait to throw myself into my sleeping bag after working on their take home memory books. 
I want to remember my prayer for them, that they would know that they belong to Jesus, that they are not forgotten, that they do have someone actually...make that a whole group of someones, who love them.

At the end of camp the counselors fill out a little questionnaire, one of the questions is why do we do RFKC. 
Every year I end up crying for these precious babies, last year it was at night as I prayed over them and this year I did it on the last day, right in front of one of my girls while reading my note to her in her memory book. As the tears flooded down my face, she stared at me wide eyed and in shock. Her facial expression to me said, "Why is this person who barely even knows me bawling in front of me?" As if I could read her mind, I told her it was because I loved her very much. She gave me a big hug and the tears flooded even more as I brushed them away to grab her hand, leading us to the bus. My answer to why I do RFKC is to cry for those who some dont even think are important enough to cry over. I cry because I have sang over and over for God to break my heart for what breaks his. These tears are an answered worship cry.
I do camp to show the love of Jesus because that's what I was created to do.
My heart is so full.

If you would like to talk to me more in detail about my week, I'd love to share!

Please keep these kids in your prayers as I do too.

"He said:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,

    For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

    For they shall be comforted.

    For they shall inherit the earth.

    For they shall be filled.

    For they shall obtain mercy.

    For they shall see God.

    For they shall be called sons of God.

    For theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Blessed are those who mourn,

Blessed are the meek,

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

Blessed are the merciful,

Blessed are the pure in heart,

Blessed are the peacemakers,

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, 

For theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

- Matthew 5 3:-10