Titles

Titles intimidate me
They make my insecurity come from hiding and my 5'7 height shrink to non existent

Girlfriend
I'm afraid I won't hold still that my attention will be spilled in so many directions you won't know where to stand
boyfriend
Although it sounds sweet at first taste
There's way too many distorted definitions for people to even know what it really means
Ultimately I just want to be able to look and know that he's mine
To have a there goes my babyyyy type of moment
But when it really comes down to it I just don't think I have the time
Student
I'd rather be social than stuck in a cubical at the end of my 4year adventure
Maybe I'm learning that life can not be tamed
And knowledge stretches past a 40thousand dollar price tag
I'm just no longer sure where I stand with this financial hand wringing at my student wrists that writes papers and to-do lists
Poet
I don't feel as though I'm worthy quite yet
To wear this crown of poetry sitting on a throne of lyrical creativity
I could be taken this to an extreme but I mean those who call themselves poets express words from memories that they've tucked in hidden safeties locked with keys and release them with a pen
I can't say that's anywhere near where I've been
Pastors kid
5days out of seven
You could find me in pews
With microphones in one hand and harmonies on my lips
In brightly painted rooms with toys you have to squat down to
Goody two shoes
And prude become your name in cell phones that never press call when its highlighted
Because you would of been insulted anyway if you were invited
Daughter
I don't take lightly promises to make you smile at me
I'm disappointed in you is not words I can bare so ill spend every time I breath air
To make sure your aware that I want to make you proud
Not in ways where I obsess over getting As on tests but you can tell me you never had the courage to do that when you were my age
So that's why God gives you children so we can live it all again
But in their own way
Sister
Basically a mother oldest of four sisters and one brother
Make sure that they can look up to you and not shake their hands when staring down on you with eyes that ask why now they have to set the example so there's no next time
I promise to them they can always tell me what's on their mind
There's never a moment where I won't have the time of day for them because they make up the sun that shines
Mothers and fathers are there for the growing and nurturing but sisters are their for the pruning
To tell you what our parents won't to paint your nails
And sing songs that are made up to acoustic guitar backgrounds that I really can't play
Human being
Being not always doing
Breathing but sometimes stopping
Created for Loving
Destined for purposes that are past our understanding
Christian
Christ in anything in everything we do
From the way we talk
And walk when no one is watching
To live as though Jesus himself walked in step with us
Arielle
My ultimate title
The name behind these brown eyes light skin
And smile
A woman
Not a girlfriend
But a student
A pastors daughter
A sister
A human being
A Christian
Arielle

know you

I want-
To get to know you
I want to know not just your first name
But your whole name
Middle if you have one and last
Because that all ties into your past
I want to know what the meaning is according to baby name books
And then I want to know what it means to you
Namesakes are important and I want to make sure you hear yours every time my mouth discloses it as though it is dipped in gold and taste like honey

I want to get to know you
I want to know your family
The love you learned from your mother or didn’t
About the hero your father was to you
Or wasn’t
I want to know why
What type of soil is your family tree planted in
Is it rich or is it dry
Are there fallen leaves from extended branches that have fallen in you
Did the seasons change so rapidly
That now that inconsistency is warped inside of you

I'm not trying to be nosey
I just want to get to know you
Understand what you’ve been through but mostly see where you’re going
Walk on the side of you on these paths you are taking
And hold your hand when your knees start shaking

I want to get to know you
Understand what makes tears fall from your eyes
Of which the color I have memorized down to every pigment
Every shade change when the sun hits them
I want to know what makes you angry
What makes you tick
And then
I want to make you feel those emotions
Even though I don’t mean it
I want to get to know you
Know your favorites
What makes your insides feel like summer time
That lives between your heart in the midst of the bones of your ribcage
I want to know your dislikes
The things that you despise
What makes you shiver and Goosebumps appear up your spine
I want to get to know you so I can make you mine
Close my eyes as if I were blind
And know where every mole dimple freckle
Or imperfection you hate is placed
And my hand will know when yours is around
Like a familiar song that plays in the background
Of our story
That intertwines the way our fingers do
The rhythm of your breath will become so much a second nature to my own
And even though I will know it
Like I know my own your touch will still give me butterflies
I want to get to know you
So ill start
My name is Arielle
And I really do like long walks in the park

Woman Hands

I am the oldest of five
Which is my ticket to act younger than my current age
So that I never lose sight
Of the youth like fervor that will forever pump
Through my veins even while rocking in rocking chairs

I am the oldest of five
Which my ticket to act younger than my current age
So that means playing sneak behind your unaware sister and cover her eyes is okay
That is until everytime right away she knows that its you
So you ask her through laughs
“What? How did you know?”
And she responds with the same joy and says,
“Its because you’re the only one of us who has woman hands.”
Woman hands…
I assume that means hands that belong to a woman but I apologize if the girlish grin and one dimple reflection confuses me
Because well woman hands must belong to a woman
And that just cant be me

Because woman hands belong to those whose days consist of nothing for themselves
But every hour dedicated to every one else
Woman hands have held and let go of children as the youth of their fingertips leave with them
And woman hands have experienced first off what it means to love
What it means to feel two lives in sync as one
Woman hands have held onto dreams that were stronger than her clutch
No, see woman hands they cant be mind
That’s way too much
Because woman hands have wiped away more tears of others and have placed them neatly in treasure boxes next to her collected memories
Woman hands know a strength that reaches past gender and what a heavy burden really means because they’ve been weighed down by so many times

And so I state that Woman hands cant possibly belong to a twenty year old who still lives road trips for no reason
And the smell of cookies baked into early mornings that still feel like night
Memories being rewound and woven into blankets in quiet evenings
Woman hands are given by experience
Women hands are been there seen that
Lived there ate that
Cried then over that
Woman hands are soft like mothers
Strong like the paw of a lioness
And come in shades of color that make up the one they belong to
Woman hands are a privilege in which I guess I’ve been given
So come on woman hands, we’ve still got some livin’

To Every Person Who ever told me I was Beautiful

Thank you
For being the knights in shining armor that swept me away from my negative mindsets
For being the quiet hand on my shoulder that told me that fingers down throats
Were one…two many lies I was way too willing to accept
For being the frogs I didn’t have to kiss
In order to receive a happily ever after for myself
Thank you for being the mirror on the wall
Who did not feed me false hopes
But truth that I could swallow even though I was hesitant

To every person who ever told me I was beautiful
Even my parents
Although I assumed it was your job to hand me compliments on gold platters
Just so that I could get through a day dressed in everything baggy
So no Barbie could stiffly point out the flaws that already screamed at me from the top of every curve
Thank you for teaching me that beautiful comes from the heart that beats underneath the extra skin and the passion that swims around it stretching to my fingertips, which touch lives
And ripples into another young woman who fights her own demons of negative mindsets
Two fingered trolls that ask for two worded eight letter passwords
Starting with YOUR and ending in SOUL

To every person who ever told me I was beautiful
To which I responded with a quiet and unbelieving
Awh, thanks
I wasn’t being sarcastic when I said it
I meant it with every glance I couldn’t give you after receiving the compliment
I had continuously refused
Know that it was because of your
“You are beautiful” that I can look in the mirror and not turn away as if the face weren’t even my own
Thank you for planting seeds that are now rooted in my being
And creating in me a queen who doesn’t need the idea of a king
To define her allure
Thank you for the bridge built on positivity that I could cross ignoring two fingered trolls asking what the password is
To every person who ever told me I was beautiful,
I thank you
With every right-sided dimple
Un-moisturized hand
Hip handle
I thank you