CONSUMED (Part 2)

And he questions

And asks

And commands

Stop trying to suffocate me

Just let me consume you

And by consume you I mean embrace you from the inside out

Making these butterflies within your stomach rise

You think its infatuation but the fact of the situation is

I want to consume you the way you consume drinks in starbucks cups

$5 dollars a day but I put no price on you

My beloved cant you see I want to consume you

To breath into you like your name was eve

And Adam don’t forget you were the first made in the likeness of me

I gave you eyes not to be covered with the scales of delusion

But to see the infusion of my love in places that don’t look like me

Walk by faith and not be sight instead the light that have placed at your feet

Better yet the light that I have placed inside of you

The light you could have abundantly if you only let me consume you

Don’t worry about the spotlight cos if you do it right eventually it’ll come back to me

I’ll let you take a second to breath

Moses witnessed the burning bush but we don’t have that luxury so Father God let that flame burn inside of me

Lord my only prayer is that you consume me

With every richness that exists

Joy that is nothing less than pure bliss

With the kind of peace known by a infant in their mothers arms

Let your warmth captivate me beyond physicality’s

So that I can be drawn to my knees

In that very moment when you consume me

Let everything I do continuously eliminate the I

Illuminate the you

Father we just want to be consumed by you

Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in us

And I realize that there’s a lot of me, I, Us and we

Involved in these lines of poetry

But ultimately we are your vessels for kingdom lengthening

So as Colossians 2:7 says

Let your roots grow down into us and let our lives be built on you

And we will overflow with thankfulness

For our God is a consuming fire

We cry Holy, Holy are You
Our hearts are burning, burning for you

We are your burning ones

We are consumed by you

We set our lives apart

We are consumed you

Consume

CONSUMED (Part 1)

We are your burning ones

We are consumed by you

We set our lives apart

We are consumed you

Consumed

Saturated

Drenched

Father let your presence fill my lungs as if my name were eve

Shatter these earthly scales from my eyes so that your light may blind my spirit

Walk by faith and not by sight

This should be our prayer

Our anthem for everyday

But instead we walk in spotlights orchestrated around ourselves

And we become more like offspring of the world

Than the child of the creator

How sad it is when a father cannot claim his own child

We sometimes are consumed with so much that is not of God he doesn’t even recognize our face

Sin can sink deep within the place where his fire should dwell

They say it’s the enemies’ ugly head that rears in our direction

But in fact it’s his hands that capture our attention

Cos within them he holds the desire of worldly thrones

Claiming we can be its King and Queens

If we only bow one knee

But these are lies he plants within us and waters with deception

Light and darkness cannot reside in the same place

So how do you think those roses of spirituality will face the weeds of contradiction

The choking will last for only so long until its just death that creates the friction

But see what Satan doesn’t know is what you’ve already been given

Within you God has placed a key

That belongs to his kingdom

A kingdom that cannot be shaken and that’s where your name has been written

But we continue to play these consumption games as if we were Christian Barbie and ken

Thinking we are fooling someone with our helium-inflated ideas

All claiming in high-pitched unity that God is the flame inside of we

But really were just lighting our own match with ignition of ourselves

And in our minds were praising a God who looks just like us

Talks like us

And thinks like us

So now the match we thought we lit

Is still in the box we tried to put God in

And he stands by our sides as he watches us try

To put the greatest being of this universe

In a man made thing

He questions

And asks

And commands

Stop trying to suffocate me

Just let me consume you

With every richness that exists

Joy that is nothing less than pure bliss

With the kind of peace known by a infant in their mothers arms

Let me consume you

That moment when you finish a book, its almost as if you are saying good by to so many friendships you created, so many memories you really never experienced. I have never finished reading a book feeling so filled with hope &inspiration as I did with this particular one. Snaps and applause to you Mrs. Stockett.

PHENOMENAL READ 

First Year poem

I was asked to share a poem

Maybe of community diversity and a memory

I’ll just share a little about me

Coming to APU was my dream

My parents thought it was far, my face would hardly be seen

My family is my everything but it was just time for me

The southern California sun and people who couldn’t stop smiling was calling

And so was

A community where my diversity seemed to actually follow me

Fell asleep with a silk wrap for my mane

Roommates asked why I wore it

And my ethnicity seemed to face me for the first time

Always the yellow skinned

Couldn’t tell if she was dark skinned

Or if she was the tan skin

Is her hair relaxed or straightened

See, coming to APU was my dream

Wednesday night Chapel became my source of peace

My bible contained highlighter streaks

Where God met me on the path he had placed me reassuring this is exactly where I was supposed to be

But Doubt sometimes caressed every positive thought that entered me

My moments of happiness were quickly shutdown by loneliness

And it broke me

 My weakness and insecurities opened the door for me

And I entered it slowly

But before it could immerse me

These words surrounded me

“He is jealous for me, love like a hurricane I am a tree bending beneath his love and mercy”

But at this point I wasn’t bending I was breaking

Lord the spirit is willing but the flesh was weak

And so he repaired me

Helping me remember this is exactly where he has called me

And so I placed my insecurities and fears behind

Trying my best not to let them jump in front of me

Yes, coming to APU was my dream nothing else could come between

But I was slightly Overwhelmed by this place called COLLEGE

Where responsibility was something you actually had a choice to hold on your own

Because parents were only there through the phone

Freedom was the theme and some let their freak flag ring

My RA became my source of maternity when my heart yearned for the one who birthed me

Girls on my hall became my little homes of nail polish and chick flick sanity

My alpha group became my family and everyone else in between kept my laughter going

I was asked to share a poem

Maybe of community diversity and a memory      

And so I chose a memory sprinkled with a little diversity and a lot about a community

A community where my heart can now rest assured that this is my source of security

So as you yourself embark on this journey weather it’s your first second third or your last embrace it

Embrace the people screaming at the top of their excitement because they are genuinely glad you are here

Embrace the 1am laughter and conversations that are better with an acoustic background

Embrace the random times of loneliness and ecstatic happiness

Embrace every memory difficult or easy to swallow because you will never experience what you are experiencing right now

Power of words

Do remember the first day of school?

You know, a little after you learned your teachers’ name

And the name of the kid who would become your temporary best friend

Do you remember what you learned?

The very first thing we learned in school was the Alphabet

123s and a whole lot of ABCS

I can’t help but wonder why was that the first thing we learned?

The alphabet, the key to the very English language itself

A B C D E F G

After the alphabet comes English

We learn the way to write in print and in cursive

To express our names with dots or hearts on our I’s

And then literature

The way a heart can become a main character in a story of despair

The way a gun can become the weapon of mass destruction to the mind

H I J K L M

Words

The power of words

Has the capability to capture us in stillness

Bring us to our knees

Cause our entire being to shake

And tears to fall from our very eyes

Words can hurt

They can cut deeper than the very skin itself

Chiseling away at bone structures and virtues

Causing lives to bleed

Words can be poison damaging and corrupting the most sensitive parts of a human being

Their hearts

Their minds

Even their lives

N O P Q R S

So why is it we abuse this gift of words

This power that every individual possess

A power so strong that even the mumble of them can be the rope around a teenager’s neck

A power so strong that a whisper can calm a raging storm

Or it can spread like wildfire and be the reason that a young girl looks in the mirror and the only thing that stares back is worthlessness

It can be the song to a restless child calming them to a peaceful abyss of dreams

Our words can be our own worst enemies

Along with our minds deception of our hearts

We feed ourselves lies

That there is no purpose for this life

That there is not a God whose very breath created our being

Or that someone else’s life is not worth experiencing

T U V W

Words can be an escape

Leaving this world of murder and rape

Entering a place where words aren’t used and abused

But guarded like treasures that our mouths are endowed with

And when we say I love you we mean it as if the very words were heaven-sent

All of our lives we are surrounded by words

The first ones we speak

The first ones spoken to us

Words to stand by

Words to live by

Hebrews 4:12-13 says, “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

X Y

Proverbs 12:18 says, “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

So let us all take role of the wise

Let our mouths spew words of wisdom

And healing

Not of ignorance and impairment

Instead may we speak prayers of psalms

Asking father, “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!”

And Z

Sweet Return.

This is the start of my third week back at good ol APU!
all i can say to sum up this little bit of time is....WOAH.
Before coming back to APU, i was just overwhelmed with a sense of fear and hesitation, the enemy had it set in my mind that I did NOT want to come back to APU. and i believed it for a few weeks there...even up to being here on Monday August 15th. But as the week went on I slowly started to remember.. THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE GOD WANTS ME! Which is why the enemy was trying to do all that he could in order to hinder my coming back, but Gods force is always stronger!

School doesn't start until the first week of September (for some reason the date is slipping my mind) but i had to return early for Orientation leader which is basically a mentor for incoming freshman, helping them with the transition from high school to college (which is ...intense as some of you may have experienced) you see those people screaming &yelling in this picture -> starting tomorrow that will be ME (: perfect right?!

Anyway, these couple of weeks before school starts has been filled with training!
Which doesn't consist of too much, but it revolves solely around being prepared spiritually, along with all the activities that involves with being an orientation leader (also known as ) Alpha leader.
Last week we went on a week long training experience right back in San Francisco, so i had to make that long 7 hour trip AGAIN. but it was so entirely worth every leg cramp!
The name of the training was called Bridges, so i will be referring to it as that from now on.
So we left for bridges on Sunday morning, waking up at 6:30 am, eating breakfast&making our travel lunches, packing up the numerous 12 passenger vans and cars, and waiting for our 8:30am departure to the bay.
Once we arrived, we unloaded all of our belongings into YWAM (Youth with a Mission) center located in the Tenderloin. Monday morning the festivities began, starting with a beautiful and meditative walk across the Golden Gate Bridge. We were told to leave all our worries, anxieties, fears and anything that could hinder us from fully experiencing all that God had in store for that week. It was a GREAT way to start the week, I prayed that i would be vulnerable and remember that I am here for a reason.
Man how God stretched me and almost gave me a new set of eyes.

I was quite cynical at first thinking what (new) could God possibly teach me in my own city?



WHAT I HAVE LEARNED THUS FAR !

- In order to be a leader one must literally humble yourself to where you become the servant.
- Every person has a story, and judgement sometimes gets in the way of meeting some one that could be life changing.
- Community is crucial. Revolving yourself around a good christian community is crucial to the spiritual growth, so is being around the "sick" and lost which is crucial to the growth of the kingdom.
- Imitate the Father. Be Merciful. Love Actively


This is just a little bit, I have just been given blessing after blessing, but as you know "To who much is given, much is required." So please, as you all have done so faithfully keep me in your prayers.
For continuous growth, strength for whatever trials may come, and remain focus for what God has in store !

Also, keep my family in your prayers as well, my Dad had surgery on Thursday&Friday of last week (August 25/26th) its been really difficult for me not to be there...I know I'm where I'm supposed to be, i just struggle with why it has to be now & not after my family was able to smooth out this chaos. But this is the situation and I know it will go over just fine, Because God is in control!

This is just an overall summary, if you want details lets talk! feel free to facebook, email, text or call (:

blessings !

Its that time again..

Where did this summer go?!

This is my last week at home& silly me thought it would be easier the second time!
Leaving APU&coming home was hard, i was excited for summer but knew a part of me would be anxiously awaiting my return to APU. All i have to ask is where is that anxiousness  i once felt?
I feel like i'm leaving home for the first time all over again
&it kinda sucks
&it kinda hurts, a lot.

I have been so BLESSED with a family who yes gets on my nerves &sometimes i just need to get away from, but when it comes down to it, they are my life, the reason i achieve goals and strive to be the best me i can be.
Of course of course one day reaching heaven &hearing the words "well done my good and faithful servant" are also what i strive for, but my family is my strong tower, my light house
&once again i have to leave them

its not like i'm being pulled away from them by force, because its nothing but my own choice ...
But this summer was a season, &i know once i get back to APU&in my own swing of things, its going to be fine &i'm going to be blessed because i know thats where God wants me,
its just so dang difficult.

but i will live in the now, enjoy this last week with my friends & family
&then count down the days till my return.
i feel at peace after writing all this down.
:)