Second "Love, according to them..." Post

My parents marriage has taught me ....

That I want someone who is so secure in themselves, that it allows me to do the same.

My parents are certain in who they are as a couple, as a family unit etc.
But I do not believe that security can happen without the security that they have in themselves as individuals.

My dad knows he is not defined as a pastor, he is not still searching for himself because he knows of his identity in Christ and how that is ultimately what he is called to be, a follower of Christ and within that comes his identity description; Father, husband, Pastor, Church Planter, Friend etc.

Same goes for my mother.
At the core of who she is she knows what kind of woman she is, she knows what her strengths are the environments in which she most adequately strives.
She knows what makes her laugh and what rest means to her.

And sure, maybe what they like to do may change, their hobbies or interests may fluctuate, their taste buds may no longer enjoy their favorite foods but... at the end of the day they can confidently declare who they are and that is why their love works so well.


My parents are no longer trying to find themselves, they already know who they are, and that is why they are able to walk confidently in their marriage with one another.
Yes, because they know the other person but most importantly because the other person knows thyself.


So that's love,
according to others.

Starting a new little mini serious type deal.

"Love, according to others...." Is what I will call it. The "others" is basically anyone around me, that could be people in my family, friends, or complete strangers.

Here's the first one, and naturally it is about my parents.

My parents marriage has made me realize..

That I want someone who allows me to be weak.

My mom is a strong woman, wise and very much so her own person. I of course have received some of her dominant traits. I want a man who allows me to be weak and not the stereotypical “Damsel in distress” type of "weakness", none of that. 

But when I just don’t feel like being the one who saves everyone all the time, I know I have someone right behind me to do the saving, including when the person needing it is myself. 

So that's love,
according to others.

Hall Theme (3rd East) Authentically CREATED.

I was asked to share a poem about what it meant to be authentically yourself for all the women RA &this is what I came up with. The whole time I was writing this piece I thought of my hall, my residents, my girls, my prayer is that they would experience the reality of this in some way...
The very first definition of Created is this... "to cause to come into being, as something unique that would not naturally evolve or that is not made by ordinary processes." dictionary.com

 Here's the poem...

We read Psalm 139:14

And tattoo it on our hearts

Hoping that the pulsing and rushing of blood

Will somehow cause it to flow to the pocket in our brains where we tuck away

Everything we deem to be true

We look in the mirror and count every mole, freckle and misplaced dimple

We notice the places where we should paint on more makeup

We hide every aspect that we consider a flaw

An Error or inadequacy

I wish there was a mirror

That captured our souls in a frame

And highlighted every precious treasure that is found within it

That placed our hearts in a microscopic view

And forced us to analyze that beauty

Is not just appearance

In fact I would dare to say that beauty is not appearance at all

Because of how easily unpleasant actions or words can cover a face like an oil leak

Beauty is the very aspect of ourselves that we push aside

It is what we are passionate about and the way that we speak

It is in the way that we listen or how we embrace someone

Beauty should be something that we do

Weaving it into our lives on an everyday basis so much that it soon becomes who we are

And then maybe we will understand that we

Were not just made

Not transfigured or thrown together

We…. YOU were created

Sculpted from the very hands of the one who inhaled life into your lungs

And allowed you to breath

He didn’t need to rough draft in pencil or sketch lightly because he himself is made up of permanent perfection

Did you know that the little circles that make up your fingerprints
were carefully sown together just for your own identity
we spend so much time trying to "find ourselves”

When the one who orchestrates the music of our heart beat

 Has already painted it in ten different ways
And says this…
THIS is who you are: My child, My daughter
Maybe the mouth that I will speak through
The vessel I will use, The clay I will mold, Or the leader I will rise up
I have sown you together with authentic threads of how to love, to teach and to grow others
With how to selflessly give of yourself

I have created you to be you

And no one else

So boast in your originality

Dance in your unique qualities

And smile wide

Dimples, freckles and all

Be only aware of the skin you are coated in

But be cautious of the soul that sleeps inside of it

And give it the freedom to be all that it was destined to be

Beautiful, Priceless, and so wonderfully authentic

Tonight I had the opportunity to share poetry with over 200 girls, while wearing an over sized Christmas Onesie.

I am obsessed with life right now.

But of course Walkabout would not be complete without a poem...

God placed this poem on my hear during a hike with a bit of drizzle action going on. 
Enjoy!

There's something about a thunderstorm in the middle of the wilderness
the rumbling reflecting the very passion that quakes within our hearts
matching the way our feet meet earth on a five hour hike
One tarp
Eight people cuddling so close
that no amount of rain could cover 10 days worth of B.O

There's something about falling asleep so closely to the stars
almost as if you could kiss them if you climbed high
or touch them if you reached far enough

There's something about two days in solitude
believing that every rustle of a tree must be the voice of God
every evening his blanket of beckoning into a oneness with him
the quiet moments where you feel his voice whispering to you in restlessness
calling you to be surrounded in his presence
as he meets you in the most intimate place of where your soul meets his spirit

There is something about laughter that echoes through
rocks and ripples in a small stream
uniting every lung and stomach that it captivates
stretching every muscle in your frame to remind you of how
beautiful being alive feels

The feeling of a fire being the center of eleven people
as the sun rests in its quiet place to the west
the flames dancing over faces you've been blessed to wake up to
eyes filled with compassion and encouragement
with smiles more refreshing than the feeling of being clean

There's something about meeting yourself out of your comfort zone
becoming acquainted with every bone and muscle
as you journey 10 days on a search for who you are
as a leader
for who you are in the eyes of your creator

There's something about clouds after rain
reminding us that seasons will come and the clouds will go
but he will always remain constant
reassuring us that he is the creator of all things
reminding us that God will always meet us at the end of the storm
and encounter us
in exactly the way we need him

My plate is overflowing!

I had the intention of going straight into my Walkabout experience, but the first thing that popped into my head to address was, "How many times do we doubt God &his faithfulness?"
As you know, I was absolutely terrified about Walkabout and the very idea of it.
I totally did not consider that God would actually meet me in the middle of the wilderness and have me encounter him in beautiful and new ways.

First day of walkabout looked something like this:
Wake up & meet in the parking lot at 5am, drive 5 hours to Yosemite, get to our destination and the first thing we find out that we're doing is Repelling down a 138ft rock.... Wait, seriously?
I didn't even know what repelling was. Apparently the sight we went to was the best place in town.... but its a steep up-hill 45 minute hike to get there.
So basically, I figured after this day, that all fearful boundaries had been broken and that whatever else I would encounter this week would be exactly what I needed to weather it be challenging, uncomfortable it would also be absolutely necessary to contribute to my entire walkabout experience.

Man,
I don't want to get into detail about what the experience logistically looked like.
But know this,
I was able to not only experience the God I have come to know and be shaped by for the past 20 years in new ways but he also showed me so much about myself that it was baffling.
My biggest fear going into walkabout was based off of my physical abilities.
Coming from years and years of insecurities and self loathing a ten-day backpacking trip was something that was not necessarily on the top of my list to-do.
On the day that we had our longest and more testing hike, was the day that I just so happen to be leader of the day.
WHY!
That's what I wondered & asked... well maybe yelled at God. Why would you have me lead on this day? Out of my entire team I was the one person to not have backpacked or camped before let alone know how to follow a trail, and I was placed to lead on this day.
Well I can tell you that God answered back to my plea, he showed me who I was in his eyes, what I looked like when gazed upon by my creator.
Talk about a humbling opportunity. I found myself realizing what he was showing me as my guides had to continuously tell me to slow down while leading the hike....that I was going to fast.
WHAT?! HA!
The first couple of times it didn't register, I often that my pace was too slow for my team and that I must continue on.
In the midst of this God showed me that I am stronger than I give myself credit for, that my physical body is equipped to do things that I assumed it was not.
I found myself giving my body a pat and telling it good job, an outward expression of genuinely appreciating this body I was molded in but also remembering this quote:
"You don't have a Soul. You are a Soul. You have a body."  C.S Lewis

Along with all of that good stuff, on top of that I was placed on a team with AMAZING PEOPLE.

Seriously, each year I am more and more blessed by people in my life who just BLOW ME AWAY with their passion, their joy, the wisdom God has placed in them to share and what they are able to teach me.
If I had one word to describe this group of people it would be Encouraging. There was not a moment that went by that positive words were not shared from one of their lips in moments where it was a hard part of a hike, someone was making dinner or washing dishes... even in moments where you wouldn't think that encouraging would be "necessary" they did it and it was wonderful.
There was not a day that passed that did not consist of laughter or good, heart sticking conversation.
I am seriously at this point having withdrawals from them even though I just made a collective, yummy veggie pasta dinner with them last night.

There is something beautiful about coming together with a group of leaders who all have the desire to follow Christ, to learn and grow in every way possible to better serve people and to truly be apart of the body of Christ. We all had similar interest, we sang lots from 90s to now (everyday...almost every hour) and you knew, that in the center of all of our interactions and conversations there was God orchestrating all of it so delicately and intricately to make a beautiful bond between not only us but our guides as well.

I have lots of stories to tell, a lot of which will not quite be beneficial to you because you weren't there and then it would be that awkward "you-had-to-be-there" kind of moment, but I would still love to share if you want to hear them! I mean it was my first time in the wilderness so I will have a handful of things to share, feel free to ask!

So there it is.
The season of Walkabout has passed.
In the next 2 weeks residents will start moving in.... & that will be an experience of its own!

Until next time.

IS THIS REAL LIFE?

Well hello good people!

So, I have been back to APU for about 2 (almost 3) days now & I figure before these next ten days I should get a blog in there somewhere.

First,
it feels so INCREDIBLE being back... each year I think I leave more& more of myself here on this campus and when I return it's literally like connecting with whatever part of myself I left here.
Complete, that is a great word for this situation. I am complete here that whole knowing this-is-exactly-where-I'm-supposed-to-be thing?
Yeah, that exists.

These past few days have just been one big preparation for something I have talked about before....

WALKABOUT!

What is walkabout?

Well this year I am going to be a Freshman RA (oh shoot!)

And with that leadership opportunity comes intense training (spiritual, mental, mind, body, soul the whole shabang) the first part of that training is a ten day backpacking trip in the wilderness somewhere which is called Walkabout.

All the RAs are split up into teams (of about 11 or sometimes fewer), lead by highly qualified guides & are dispersed into different mountain like areas with packs filled with the entire teams food, a change of clothes &toothbrush (maybe not that drastic... we do have like warm clothing for the evening, hat for sun protection, sunscreen and lots and lots of wet wipes because that is our only source of being clean!) 

This part of training, is really to focus on who we are as leaders, individuals, servants of Christ before we get into How to be an Ra, we need a strong understanding of who we are in Christ.

Understanding our strengths & weaknesses, realizing the different mechanisms we have when it comes to being faced with challenges...

I'm not going to lie... just writing this out is actually giving me a huge comfort.

as you can see by a previous post I was not Walkabouts number one fan, in fact you could almost say that all summer I have been dreading it.... but it's here ( 5 am tomorrow is meet up time!) and I refuse to be a Jonah and run from it (I really can't do that anyway... But just so you know, I have thought of it)

So for the next ten (11 ish) days I will be ruffin it out with a team of people in the wilderness, talkin about Jesus, laughin it up & then for two days we have a time called Solo.

Solo is 48 hours of fasting, and well.... solo time.

This is probably what I am most excited about, I always seem to meet God in such an intimate way when I am immersed within the very presence of his creations.

The fasting doesn't bother me either, sure it's going to be bit hard but man (nor woman) lives on bread alone (Matthew 4:4)

Why didn't I blog about this before?

I am at such a peace right now about this whole trip!

Exhale.

This morning before we packed up our packs... we had a time of devotional & worship.

My CA (Community Advisor) Chelsea, spoke about Esther, what she was called to do & how she kinda did not want to do it. And then she brings up Mordecai's words of advice to Esther & about the thought that maybe she was deemed, purposed for such a time as this ( Esther 4:12)

WOAH.

I was created for an ultimate purpose.... but within that ultimate purpose are sub-purposes of which I was also created for.

Walkabout is one of them.

To back out of the opportunity to backpack with great people, have tough & memorable conversations, hearty laughs and to be stretched out of my comfort zone is what I was created for right now.

When she talked about this... and I thought about my fears, insecurities etc God laid it upon my heart to say my own name...

Arielle.

Which means Lion(ess) of God.

LIONESS.

I think its time to allow God to instill in me my namesake.

To be courageous...in him.

To fear nothing... but him.

So here we go.

Tomorrow at 5am I will leave and embark on a journey where I want nothing but to experience all that God would have me experience. 

LETS GO.

WALKABOUT 2012.